Saturday, February 5, 2011

Heights......

Oh Heights !

Why do I fear you so much.....
I cannot stand you
Cannot control ....oh Heights ! I am powerless
I always wanted to overcome you......I already have I guess taken the first step towards independence....first step towards breaking free
I am not the same

I won't be the same....
life is about risks
Just can't break free from the challenge of pisces

oh !Why am I such a girl sometimes...
Is it girly to not to be able to bear those barbaric gory sights?
Is it girly not to be able to withstand any pain?any blood?
Is it girly to want things to be twinkling and lovely?
Oh is it being like a hundred percent female?
The sin of being a pisces? Oh ! shall I call it sin?If not then what?
Its made me needy.......left me weak...weak willed.......a weak pesonality
What to do?I'm lost....
I wish I could be able to say with pride that I will go rock climbing ....sky diving....but I can't
I am scared.....I am too scared
Do angels fear to plunge in...????pisceans do.....
I sometimes wish I had the courage to walk up the entire snow clad hills and mountains......I wish I had the choice to do that alone cause I have understood noone is made for anyone....everyone is made for themselves....and there would be noone to take me by hand.....to those everlasting expanse of heights....my friend did it ...that enthusiastic adventurous resilient Shaily....she took me by hand down the dangerous  rocky mountaineous  valleys....she led me and I loved it ....it was so comfortable.....to be able to rely trustfully on someone so strong......so self assured a girl as Shaily .....Girl! She is something of a person....One of the most courageous girls I have  ever met...and a courageous person toooooo.....
But I always loose my senses ...it seems always as if I have lost a part of something....I wonder sometimes if that has something to do with a fish's affinity to water....but then even waterfalls ....cold waterfalls...I think even thet sent a chill down my spine....
i never realized as a child...I was afraid of heights.....dreaded afraid of heights......Oh ! What is it??????I never seem to get it
Heights......!!!!!!!!Yummy.......I want to come to you....but can't seem to....what to do?????? 

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